Wish I Didn't Know Now
by Meredith T. Tasaki
Summary: Songfic, failed Joey/Téa, implied Joey/Mai... Thought it only fair to warn you first When Yugi finds Joey in a bar, he also finds out that a relationship he never guessed at is falling apart.


Disclaimer: The song is by Toby Keith, and I don't own the characters here either.   
  
AN: Did you know that due to parallax, the slight wobbling of the earth on its axis, the north star has changed? Sometimes the north star was different, and sometimes there wasn't one at all. I've heard (I'm scared to state anything as a fact in this section that I haven't verified with at least three sources) that in ancient Egypt, a different star was due north. I believe they called it Sothis. (Again, far less than three sources; don't lynch me) Am I the only one who likes the soft irony and metaphorical value of that? The north star's changed since then...  
  
/.../ : Yugi thinking/talking to Yami  
//...// : Yami thinking/talking to Yugi  
  
~  
  
Yugi looked around. "Why am I in a bar?...Oh." He shook his head. "I don't know whether I hate magic or love it sometimes..." Joey might need help, but bars were not his thing. Especially really dark ones where he was literally half everyone else's height, and even Yami was half of most. He pushed through the crowd somehow and tried to tap Joey on the shoulder. He muttered a curse against the insanely tall barstools and settled for the lower back.  
  
Joey looked up from his drink. "Yug'? What d'heck're YOU doin' here?"  
  
"I think I'd rather not know. --But that's what I should be asking _you_." Yugi climbed into place on the next barstool. "Why are you here?"  
  
"Because they never card ya here. How d'ya think _you_ got in?"   
  
Yugi sighed sharply. "Why are you here?"  
  
"I just said--"  
  
"JOEY."   
  
Joey sighed. "You really wanna know?"  
  
"Did I not ask twice?"  
  
"Well, just look over there, Yug'." He gestured with his mug.  
  
Yugi blinked and leaned to look that direction. "Is that Téa?"  
  
"Yep. That's Téa." Joey took a swig of his drink.  
  
"Why is she flirting with everyone? That doesn't seem like her!"  
  
"Nope. It sure doesn't." Joey stared icily into the mirror.  
  
"But why do you care?" Yugi blinked.  
  
"God, Yugi, why d'ya think? Whaddaya _think_ I've been doing every Saturday night? Didn't you notice anything, like, um, like we both always couldn't come at the same time?"   
  
"She's your _girlfriend_?!" Yugi gaped.  
  
"Yeah. She is." Joey took another drink.  
  
I never ask you where you're goin',   
I never ask you where you've been,   
I've never called and checked your story,   
When you stayed out with all your friends,  
  
"How did we not know?" Yugi couldn't stop staring at Téa, who was acting so unlike herself.  
  
"Well, I dunno. I dun' think anyone notices anything. Hell, it took us months to find out about Yami..."  
  
"But that was different..." /I thought I would have learned from that.../  
  
"Not much."  
  
"But why is _Téa_...?" Yugi trailed off as the bartender walked by.  
  
"I dunno. Trying to find herself or some baloney like that. Maybe she's decided she doesn't give a damn about anything. 'S not like she ever loved me."   
  
"Trying to _find_ herself..." Yugi shook his head, wide-eyed. "If your self is in a bar, why not just leave it there or something?"  
  
"This is just her way of getting me to leave her already." He took a smaller sip. "God knows she's been trying long enough. You'd think she'd'a tried some other way by now. But hell. Whatever works."  
  
I've never tried to catch you lyin',   
I didn't want to know the truth,   
I'd rather go on lovin' blind girl,   
Than go on lovin' without you   
  
"This has been going on for a long time?" Yugi reeled dizzily, in some combination of not yet having had supper and abhorrence at his own lack of observation. "God, Joey, why didn't you _tell_ someone?"  
  
"Why? She didn't want me to. It's no big deal, really. Cert'ly nothin' new."  
  
"Joey... Don't..."  
  
"Don't what?"  
  
"I'm stupid, not _stupid_..."  
  
"Aw, c'mon, Yug'. There was nothin' t'see!"  
  
"Yes. There _was_." Yugi shook his head. "How could I not have put it together..."  
  
"Yeah, gen'ly you're good at puttin' stuff t'gether," Joey conceded, motioning at the puzzle.  
  
"But that's not the point!" Yugi shook his head again. /How could I have made this about _me_!/ "Are you all right?"  
  
"Depends on what ya mean by all right," Joey said. "Will I live? Yeah, I guess. Will I like it? I ain't exactly a gypsy or nothin'. Call Miss Cleo. Do I wish I didn't know or it wasn't happenin' or somethin'? You better believe it."  
  
I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then   
I wish I could start this whole thing over again   
I'm not sayin' that you, could ever be true;   
I just don't wanna know how it ends  
  
"Joey, please..." Yugi floundered. "It'll be all right, really it will!"  
  
"Mmm-hmm. Also Kaiba is a real softie and Pegasus is some homeless guy."   
  
"God, I know, but..." He felt helpless. What did he know about this kind of thing? What could he say that wouldn't be something cheesy and hollow?  
  
//Let me try.//  
  
Yugi jumped. He hadn't even known Yami was awake. /You think you can help him?/  
  
//I don't know. Maybe. But it's worth trying, isn't it?//  
  
Joey barely even registered the soft glow next to him until Yami poked his glass. "Is that beer? How on earth do they make it nowadays? I swear, I thought alcohol would be one of the things that stayed the same, but hell, even the north star is different this millenium."  
  
Joey blinked at him. "What're _you_ doing out?"  
  
"Is there some law against yamis in this bar?" Yami raised an eyebrow expertly.  
  
"Nah, you can't have a law 'gainst what ya dun' know exists," Joey replied, willing to play along. "Why is everything a game with you, anyways?"  
  
"Where did that come from?"  
  
"Nevermind..." Joey sighed. "So I take it you know."  
  
"Of course."  
  
"And you're gonna try t'comfort me or somethin'. Well, don't. What do _you_ know about this. How do YOU know it'll be all right or whatever the hell you plan to say."  
  
You'd still have my heart in the palm of your hands   
I'd still look like a fool in front of your friends   
Yeah, I wish somehow I didn't know now   
What I didn't know then   
  
"You want to know the truth? Yes, it's terrible. Yes, you can't do a thing about it. Yes, for the next few weeks you're going to walk around and feel the same old thing every time you see her, anger, betrayal, love, you know the mixture. Yes, you're going to swear it'll never end; yes, you'll think it won't. But it will. Everything ends. At least most things, or everything that you think will not."  
  
"Well gee, that's real upliftin' there Yami. You should get a job as a motivational speaker."  
  
"I have a low tolerance for lies." Yami fixed him with his gaze. "I don't like being lied to, and I dislike lying even more. So I'm not going to tell you it'll be all right when you wake up tommorow. You'll probably have a hell of a hangover and be just as depressed. But it ends. You'll find someone else."  
  
"And they'll do the same thing." Joey snorted. "What's the point?"  
  
"Good heavens, child, you have a life. Live it. It isn't the end of the world. It may feel like it right now, but even just tomorrow it'll be different."  
  
"...'Child'?!"  
  
"You want to dispute that?" He smirked idly.   
  
"Arrgh..."  
  
I've always said what I don't know   
Couldn't hurt as bad as leavin' you,   
Turns out I knew what I was thinkin',   
It ain't an easy thing to do,   
  
"So. What are you going to do now? You have to do something. You would've figured that out yourself by midnight, but I'd rather not keep Yugi up that late. School tomorrow."  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
"You are leaving her, aren't you? Tell me you know that much."  
  
"Yeah... I guess I am." He sighed.   
  
Well I guess I should be goin',   
I sure found out too much to stay,   
  
//She shouldn't have that kind of power over him... He shouldn't permit it. But... That's the way it is...//  
  
"You'll find someone else, Joey," he said. "By the way, she also won't be dead drunk or a dog-lover."  
  
"God, you've beaten that metaphor to death."  
  
"Beaten you to death with that metaphor." Yami let some slight annoyance slip into his voice.  
  
/!!!/ Yugi mentally hit his head. /Sheer stupidity! God! I don't believe myself!/  
  
"Yeah," Joey sighed. "That sounds about right."  
  
//We know now.// "I'm not joking." A figure talking to Téa caught his eye. "In fact, she might be right under your nose. Possibly staring you in the face all along."  
  
"And I wouldn't've realized that?"  
  
"Actually, you would have..."   
  
"Yeah, you're right!" Joey slammed his glass down. "Who needs 'er! I can get someone better any day!"  
  
"And twice on Sundays." Yami stifled a smile.   
  
Please don't say you're sorry,   
I might wait another day...  
  
Téa let out a small gasp. "Oh God, Joey's here!"  
  
"Joey? Why do you care about _him_?" Mai glanced at her.  
  
"If he sees I'm here..."  
  
"More like what you're doing, isn't it? You afraid he'll tell your boyfriend?"  
  
"Mai, he wouldn't have to."  
  
She spat out her beer. "You aren't saying--?!"  
  
"Yeah. He is."  
  
"He's your boyfriend?! And you're in here flirting with these guys?!" Mai grabbed a napkin to dry everything off. "YOU?!"  
  
"Why does everyone think I'm such a good girl!" Téa yelled. "Why am I always the straight-A student, the top of her class, the one who plays Duel Monsters with weak little cutesy cards?! Dammit, I want to live my life, I want to be not good for once! Hell, I want a Man-Eater Bug or something!" She slammed her hand against the bar. "I can't take it anymore! I'm sick of everyone's expectations! I am not going to be a good girl, ever again!"  
  
"...God, you could just dump him. Why cheat on him? Isn't that inviting karma?"   
  
"I don't really give a damn, Mai."  
  
"So I've gathered." She glanced over at Joey. Poor kid. He hadn't done anything. He was probably heartbroken. See, there was Yugi, they couldn't not have noticed. She'd been cheated on as well... She narrowed her eyes quietly at Téa. No one deserved that. At least dump the guy first.  
  
I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then   
I wish I could start this whole thing over again   
I'm not saying that you, could ever be true   
I just don't wanna know how it ends   
  
"I have a new life now. I don't have to be anything anymore. Not a dancer, not a genius, just plain me. New friends, new life, new hangouts. Much more normal that hanging around with Yugi and getting nearly killed by ancient evil spirits."  
  
She sighed. "I'd have to grant you that... But you shouldn't be _cheating_ on him. Hell, beat him up, it'd be less cruel."  
  
She stared at her for a moment. "Fine by me. Take him."  
  
"WHAT!" Mai would've spat out her beer again, if there'd been any to spit out. "And just WHAT do you mean by THAT?!"  
  
"You obviously like him. Take him, we're over."  
  
"Well, for starters, I do not like--being told who I like and do not like..." She cursed at herself. Why couldn't she say it? "And I don't take guys on the rebound from crazy harlots like yourself."  
  
"Why not? Probably the only guys you could get."  
  
Mai threw her beer at her. "You do of course know where you can go."  
  
"I've heard worse."  
  
She shook her head. "I don't believe you'd actually do that... I don't think we've ever met. I don't think I want to meet you. Goodbye."  
  
She shook her head. That manner, that almost good excuse... So familiar...  
  
You'd still have my heart in the palm of your hands   
I'd still look like a fool in front of your friends   
Yeah, I wish somehow I didn't know now   
What I didn't know then   
  
"Don't look now," Yami said quietly, "but I think destiny's calling."  
  
"Wha?" Joey stared at him. "What in the heck--?"  
  
"Hey. Wheeler." Mai tapped him on the shoulder. "There's better things to do on a night like this. I know a place where they have mini Duel Monsters trading and battles every week, and they have punch. Unless of course you're too drunk."  
  
"Nah. This was my first one." Joey stood. "I can't thinka anythin' better to do. Ya--Yugi, you wanna come?"  
  
"No," Yami said. "I know where she's talking about. It's another card shop, and Grandpa would kill me."  
  
"All right then," Joey said. "Thanks for everythin'."  
  
"It was absolutely nothing," Yami said softly. "Have fun, you two."  
  
/That was far too kind of Mai.../ Yugi commented as the two left.  
  
//Precicely. It doesn't take an oracle to predict that. Maybe how far it will go. Who knows, they may be perfect for each other. Or it may last a month. But that's all right.//  
  
/...Yami? How did you know all that?/  
  
//...All what?//  
  
/I thought you hated lying./  
  
//...The truth? I've been there... Though of course she wasn't my girlfriend... Just some girl... Been dead a few millenia... And likely still flirting with every male soul in the afterlife...//  
  
You'd still have my heart in the palm of your hand   
I'd still look like a fool in front of your friends   
Yeah, I wish somehow I didn't know now   
What I didn't know then   
  
/But you found someone better./  
  
//Yes... In a way... And then I died...// He tried to make it sound as if it didn't matter. //We should go home.//  
  
/Yeah, I guess.../ Yami walked them out of the bar, where Yugi took over. /Just to let you know... You aren't fooling anybody./  
  
//What do you mean?//  
  
/I know you'd love to get out of this place. Don't quibble with me about where 'this place' is. Do you think you ever will?/  
  
//...For a time, I didn't. But now I think I shall.//  
  
/When?/  
  
//The best time possible. With you.//  
  
Yugi exhaled slowly. This was a lot of information for one night, a lot of food for thought. Did that mean, when he died, he'd be taking someone else with him? How could he do that? He probably had no choice in the matter, but still... It was such a... responsibility... And if Yami would die with him... Then there wasn't nearly so big a difference as he'd thought.... Was that good or bad? Neither? Both?  
  
Yeah, I wish somehow I didn't know now   
What I didn't know then   
  
He shook his head. The metaphysical questions would wait. Right now, he had to get home, or Grandpa would have a fit. And if he learned Yugi had been in a _bar_--! He'd get killed! Or his deck would be taken.  
  
//Our DECK?! He wouldn't!//  
  
/He would./  
  
//Oh gods. We should get home!//  
  
/Tell me about it!/  
  
He started to run.  
  
~ 


End file.
